If I Have Gay Children: Four Promises From A Christian Pastor/Parent

nonprophetadam:

Good to see some tolerance coming from Christians

Originally posted on john pavlovitz:

KidsFiltered


Sometimes I wonder if I’ll have gay children.

I’m not sure if other parents think about this, but I do; quite often.

Maybe it’s because I have many gay people in my family and circle of friends. It’s in my genes and in my tribe.
Maybe it’s because, as a pastor of students, I’ve seen and heard the horror stories of gay Christian kids, from both inside and outside of the closet, trying to be part of the Church.
Maybe it’s because, as a Christian, I interact with so many people who find homosexuality to be the most repulsive thing imaginable, and who make that abundantly clear at every conceivable opportunity.

For whatever reason, it’s something that I ponder frequently. As a pastor and a parent, I wanted to make some promises to you, and to my two kids right now…

1) If I have gay children, you’ll all know it.

My children won’t…

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The Rapture is Confusing

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So, I’ve been doing a lot of research on this strange phenomenon dubbed “The Rapture.” I’ve talked to a lot of my Christian friends and everyone has a different story or version of the events that transpire. To make matters more confusing, the rapture is never mentioned in the bible. So everyone and I mean everyone has a different timeline, interpretation, and philosophy of those occurrences.  What I find discouraging is the amount of belief these people have that the Rapture will occur versus the evidence that is available to support its occurrence. When I ask them why they believe how they do I don’t get solid answers. “You have to have faith” is their favorite reply.

The general consensus is that they will be teleported away, quicker than a flash of lightning, Star Trek teleporter style into heaven. Almost all Christians that I spoke with believe we are living in the “end of days” due to world events. After the rapture then the shit realllllllllly hits the fan. And this is where most people have no idea what’s going to happen. Nobody knew exactly how long this era is going to last, what happens when it’s over. They just knew they wouldn’t have to endure the process.

For the record this is an educational workshop piece, your input, suggestions, corrections and opinions will be praised and are very welcome. Here is what I know.

During the 1800s a man named John Darby invented Dispensationalism which basically divided the bible into sections. By doing this he developed the idea of The Rapture.

The tribulation will occur for 7 years. This is God’s wrath being brought upon the non believers. Half way through this period the Great Tribulation begins. This is an even more harsh period.

There are 3 version of the rapture. The pre, mid and post tribulation rapture. (Self explanatory I hope).

After the tribulation Jesus will come to reign for 1000 years. There is much debate as to how long 1000 God years are.

That’s basically it. This is what I’ve learned reading and watching documentaries on the subject. No references anywhere. Please comment if you know more. Thanks you.

I Gave Up Meat: Cold Turkey

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^This is how I imagine I look when I tell people I’ve quit eating meat. Not because I feeeeeeeeel ridiculous but because they look at as if I’ve switched heads with the cat I am petting.

Whenever I tell someone they ask “WHY?!?” and assume I am less manly. 9 times out of 10 it’s other people telling other people that I’ve gone “vageterian.” Their shock driving them to tell everyone they know.

I try to tell them it’s personal or that they don’t want to know. But they are persistent and need answers to this great mystery. I find that I’m better at expressing my ideas in writing so here we are, a monolog,  written by a babbling vegetarian. Excuse me, vageterian.

1. I don’t like animals dying on my behalf. That’s the short of it. 

2. I feel that I have the moral responsibility to not kill other creatures.  We all took a long time to evolve to get where we are. A long long long time. And our species was lucky enough to “rise above” our evolutionary traits. We are smart enough to know what benefits come from eating meat and where else to find this. If we were the lesser intelligent specie we would totally expect this from our more intelligent counter parts.

Imagine an alien species arriving to Earth just to feed on us humans. There would be an outrage. “Those flying crits could eating cheese instead of us humans!” And the aliens would respond “^! £ gsmku- *÷*Jr kph !&÷£ jejek £&=” translated into “we like how humans taste.” Or “we are on top of the food chain so shut up and get in my belly.” Our arguments for eating meat have just been used against us. Good job humans.

3. It’s good for the environment.  There are more green house gasses emissions from cows than cars. Being a vegetarian is the environmentally smart thing to do.

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I put a lot of time and thought into this. Trust me, I love steak.

Ken Ham, Ugh.

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I have no freaking idea why I follow this guy on Facebook.  His posts are filled with misguided suggestions and opinions.  Each certainty manifested in a “help you be a real Christian” variety of blog.

He, has all the answers. I think that’s what bugs me most. No humility, no remorse and no sense. It is intriguing to watch a man twist, contend and manipulate scientific data to fit around a mold. Why not follow the path the results lead?!? And people follow this guy!?

He says he’s not a preacher and that his followers are not his congregation.  This is bullshit too. Surprise! They are Hamians. Or the Hamulites. Praising and worshipping the main pig’s god. 

End rant

Can I get an amen!?!

This is a list of assumptions about atheism. Please add yours in the comment sections for consideration in a future edit.

•atheism is not a religion
•evolution does not require faith
•atheists are not mad at God
•morals did not originate with the Bible
•atheists do not worship Darwin or Satan
•life is not empty without God
•saying “bless you” when an atheist sneezes is not offensive
•group prayer at work or before a game and dinner is offensive
•atheists do not eat babies
•most atheists have read the Bible
•marriage predates Christianity

Christians Bully

I’m open about my atheism. I speak about it like it is normal. This is my pathetic attempt to give atheists a face. I know that not all atheists can do this. They are afraid that they will lose clients, votes, promotions, friends and in some cases, family.

I only am writing on this topic because it’s hit close to home recently.

As a joke my beautiful life partner, my wife, bought me a chocolate cross for Easter. We laughed at how sadistic it was to eat a candy torture device. Can you imagine if other torture devices were worshipped and candyfied. “Where can I get a gummy guillotine?” or “Do you carry those licorice electric chairs?” America and their Christianity is fucking morbid!

I was gleeful! In delight I posted the chocolate cross on my Facebook and tagged her in the post. Sadly she came to me and asked for me to remove the post. “Why!?!” I proclaimed.  She stated “I just don’t want to hear it from my mom ok.”

I didn’t give her a hard time. I deleted it. To me I would want to “hear it.” I’d love the opportunity to discuss the foolishness of their religion. I’d prefer to discuss face to face over a beer and a cigar but shit I can do it on Facebook just as well!

I had an apparition that day. If this was something that we were going through and we’re a fairly open atheist family I can’t imagine what it is like for atheists that come from highly judgemental families. 

I will pray for you all.

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