Holiday Hoodlum

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With the scent of the holiday season in the air it won’t be long before Fox News is reporting on “the war on Christmas” along with the usual shenanigans they pull to entice their brainwashed followers and make us on the outside prickle in discontent. You know what I’m talking about! The ol’ lets-put-an-atheist-on-our-show-and-bash-him-and-not-let-him-speak style of programs that they run during the holidays. So yes, I do blame them, in part for getting Christians in a tussy over Christmas. A holiday in which I believe we should put our difference aside, hold hands and vomit on each other after drinking too much. That’s just me.

But in my family it’s different than what I imagine.  It’s “traditional” with a meal and a white elephant. And by traditional I mean a Christmas party where everyone’s opinion is worn on their sleeve. You know what I mean? Where the tension is so thick you feel like you’re visiting North Korea. And booze? Oh the boozers are looked down on. Still doesn’t stop me and my brother-in-law. Hell last year I got so wasted that my wife let my kids draw all over me. I thought that was awesome. I’ll cherish that moment forever.

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Speaking of last year that brings to the topic of this post. How to handle all the religious stuff and what is appropriate to do and say during the holidays. My philosophy has always been that if I’m a guest in someone’s home I will value their routine.  However last year I had a little too much to drink,  obviously, and when it came time to pray before our meal I volunteered to the utter surprise of everyone at the table. As we held hands their surprise quickly and righteously so turned to disgust as I began “dear Odin. Thank you for blessing us with your…” and so it went until my father-in-law interrupted and finished. I thought it was hilarious and still kind of do. It was disrespectful and I will not do that in someone else’s home again.

I have been told by friends and even family that it was needed. This is what our cause needs to shame people from believing. I find it distasteful. But what do you think? Do you also follow the “when in Rome” philosophy? 

As for the rapid approaching holiday season. I can’t wait to visit “North Korea” again.

If I Have Gay Children: Four Promises From A Christian Pastor/Parent

nonprophetadam:

Good to see some tolerance coming from Christians

Originally posted on john pavlovitz:

KidsFiltered


Sometimes I wonder if I’ll have gay children.

I’m not sure if other parents think about this, but I do; quite often.

Maybe it’s because I have many gay people in my family and circle of friends. It’s in my genes and in my tribe.
Maybe it’s because, as a pastor of students, I’ve seen and heard the horror stories of gay Christian kids, from both inside and outside of the closet, trying to be part of the Church.
Maybe it’s because, as a Christian, I interact with so many people who find homosexuality to be the most repulsive thing imaginable, and who make that abundantly clear at every conceivable opportunity.

For whatever reason, it’s something that I ponder frequently. As a pastor and a parent, I wanted to make some promises to you, and to my two kids right now…

1) If I have gay children, you’ll all know it.

My children won’t…

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The Rapture is Confusing

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So, I’ve been doing a lot of research on this strange phenomenon dubbed “The Rapture.” I’ve talked to a lot of my Christian friends and everyone has a different story or version of the events that transpire. To make matters more confusing, the rapture is never mentioned in the bible. So everyone and I mean everyone has a different timeline, interpretation, and philosophy of those occurrences.  What I find discouraging is the amount of belief these people have that the Rapture will occur versus the evidence that is available to support its occurrence. When I ask them why they believe how they do I don’t get solid answers. “You have to have faith” is their favorite reply.

The general consensus is that they will be teleported away, quicker than a flash of lightning, Star Trek teleporter style into heaven. Almost all Christians that I spoke with believe we are living in the “end of days” due to world events. After the rapture then the shit realllllllllly hits the fan. And this is where most people have no idea what’s going to happen. Nobody knew exactly how long this era is going to last, what happens when it’s over. They just knew they wouldn’t have to endure the process.

For the record this is an educational workshop piece, your input, suggestions, corrections and opinions will be praised and are very welcome. Here is what I know.

During the 1800s a man named John Darby invented Dispensationalism which basically divided the bible into sections. By doing this he developed the idea of The Rapture.

The tribulation will occur for 7 years. This is God’s wrath being brought upon the non believers. Half way through this period the Great Tribulation begins. This is an even more harsh period.

There are 3 version of the rapture. The pre, mid and post tribulation rapture. (Self explanatory I hope).

After the tribulation Jesus will come to reign for 1000 years. There is much debate as to how long 1000 God years are.

That’s basically it. This is what I’ve learned reading and watching documentaries on the subject. No references anywhere. Please comment if you know more. Thanks you.

Ken Ham, Ugh.

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I have no freaking idea why I follow this guy on Facebook.  His posts are filled with misguided suggestions and opinions.  Each certainty manifested in a “help you be a real Christian” variety of blog.

He, has all the answers. I think that’s what bugs me most. No humility, no remorse and no sense. It is intriguing to watch a man twist, contend and manipulate scientific data to fit around a mold. Why not follow the path the results lead?!? And people follow this guy!?

He says he’s not a preacher and that his followers are not his congregation.  This is bullshit too. Surprise! They are Hamians. Or the Hamulites. Praising and worshipping the main pig’s god. 

End rant

Can I get an amen!?!

This is a list of assumptions about atheism. Please add yours in the comment sections for consideration in a future edit.

•atheism is not a religion
•evolution does not require faith
•atheists are not mad at God
•morals did not originate with the Bible
•atheists do not worship Darwin or Satan
•life is not empty without God
•saying “bless you” when an atheist sneezes is not offensive
•group prayer at work or before a game and dinner is offensive
•atheists do not eat babies
•most atheists have read the Bible
•marriage predates Christianity

Christians Bully

I’m open about my atheism. I speak about it like it is normal. This is my pathetic attempt to give atheists a face. I know that not all atheists can do this. They are afraid that they will lose clients, votes, promotions, friends and in some cases, family.

I only am writing on this topic because it’s hit close to home recently.

As a joke my beautiful life partner, my wife, bought me a chocolate cross for Easter. We laughed at how sadistic it was to eat a candy torture device. Can you imagine if other torture devices were worshipped and candyfied. “Where can I get a gummy guillotine?” or “Do you carry those licorice electric chairs?” America and their Christianity is fucking morbid!

I was gleeful! In delight I posted the chocolate cross on my Facebook and tagged her in the post. Sadly she came to me and asked for me to remove the post. “Why!?!” I proclaimed.  She stated “I just don’t want to hear it from my mom ok.”

I didn’t give her a hard time. I deleted it. To me I would want to “hear it.” I’d love the opportunity to discuss the foolishness of their religion. I’d prefer to discuss face to face over a beer and a cigar but shit I can do it on Facebook just as well!

I had an apparition that day. If this was something that we were going through and we’re a fairly open atheist family I can’t imagine what it is like for atheists that come from highly judgemental families. 

I will pray for you all.

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My Snapshot of The Unbelievers

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The Unbelievers was awesome! It’s was way more than I expected. I was in utter awe to be surrounded by that many freethinkers. I felt great relief to know I wasn’t alone in my journey and to see real people not just usernames. It was a place where we could laugh at religion and not be alone. And we did laugh at religion.

The event was also a bonding experience for me. I was accompanied by my two younger brothers. We made a day of it. Laughing and eating lunch. People watching as we stood in line getting drench by God’s attempt to cry us away (it was raining). I believe this is what it is truly about. Coming together. Or at least that was the vibe I got.

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The movie was brilliant.  Simple really. It was a documentary style film that followed Dawkins and Krauss in their adventures and debates. I felt it was designed to induce conversation and the directors confirmed this. After the movie the heroes of the film and directors came on stage to answer questions. This, for me, was the highlight of the show. I laughed so hard at some of their comments that I cried. Questions ranged from emotional help to getting over a dead relative. Some seemed to try and and out wit our heroes. They were dismantled quickly.

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After the Q&A was a book signing. This was the only part that slightly disappointed me. I would of loved to have a book signed. If they would of had books on sale I would of spent a small fortune. But alas, it was byob (bring your own book). My brother brought his. Lucky. I did not. The reason why I did not was that I emailed the Dawkins Foundation’s staff and asked, specifically if there was going to be a meet and greet/book signing. They said no.

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I still waited in line and got a picture with Dr. Krauss. My brother got signatures from both. Dawkins did not do pictures.

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I left with good memories, great friends and a smile. It was worth the 3 hour drive and every penny. I would recommend this experience to anyone and everyone. If you have the opportunity do it. Don’t miss out.

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<3 Besties