I Smell Bullshit

How come every time I get in a Thor damned discussion with a person of (say this in a deep voice) faith they say “I used to be an atheist” like this strengthens their argument. No, no you weren’t. You were about as atheist as a drug addict addicted to pot. You’re lying to me just like you lie to yourself.

I can, maybe, possibly, understand… maybe, a person trying out “atheism” and by that I mean “sinning” and the entire time they are terrified of hell and damnation so they turn back to the Lord All Mighty Mind Giant. Then they boast “I was atheist once! I banged biatches and ate babies and snorted coke off of a dirty toilet seat and played swords with a guy I met at a train station’s bathroom stall. I was insane dude! Totally atheist. Totally. But now I have Jesus and don’t do those things anymore.” 

Hallelujah! Somebody give this guy a pat on the back (but be careful the devil is always trying to get him to revert back to atheism and he may go from six to noon if you know what I mean).


The only reason I would ever say I believe in a god is for money. I know, I know, I have no morals. I really don’t. But lets be honest, I am only saying what you’ve thought about. 


*I am sorry for the terrible grammar and punctuation in this rant. I’m not completely sober but then again that is not a good excuse. 


5 thoughts on “I Smell Bullshit

  1. Hey, it was quite difficult to quit pot. I only succeeded by spending all my money in advance so I couldn’t be tempted and even then it was two weeks of agony. 😉

  2. I don’t think I fully agree. I have known many people who grew up non believers, never acknowledging any deities or attending services. Now, they are definate believers.
    To me, this is the same argument that christians have when someone was religious and becomes a non believer. I have been told I never REALLY believed god and that’s why I’m a non believer now, which I can honestly say is not true. The same should go the other way around.

  3. In a sense they’re right though, everyone was an atheist once….until someone got to them!

    Claiming to believe in god for money is something I hadn’t thought of. In my recent blog I argued that anyone would say they were a believer if you held a gun to their head. Even though the belief wouldn’t change.

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