Holiday Hoodlum


With the scent of the holiday season in the air it won’t be long before Fox News is reporting on “the war on Christmas” along with the usual shenanigans they pull to entice their brainwashed followers and make us on the outside prickle in discontent. You know what I’m talking about! The ol’ lets-put-an-atheist-on-our-show-and-bash-him-and-not-let-him-speak style of programs that they run during the holidays. So yes, I do blame them, in part for getting Christians in a tussy over Christmas. A holiday in which I believe we should put our difference aside, hold hands and vomit on each other after drinking too much. That’s just me.

But in my family it’s different than what I imagine.  It’s “traditional” with a meal and a white elephant. And by traditional I mean a Christmas party where everyone’s opinion is worn on their sleeve. You know what I mean? Where the tension is so thick you feel like you’re visiting North Korea. And booze? Oh the boozers are looked down on. Still doesn’t stop me and my brother-in-law. Hell last year I got so wasted that my wife let my kids draw all over me. I thought that was awesome. I’ll cherish that moment forever.


Speaking of last year that brings to the topic of this post. How to handle all the religious stuff and what is appropriate to do and say during the holidays. My philosophy has always been that if I’m a guest in someone’s home I will value their routine.  However last year I had a little too much to drink,  obviously, and when it came time to pray before our meal I volunteered to the utter surprise of everyone at the table. As we held hands their surprise quickly and righteously so turned to disgust as I began “dear Odin. Thank you for blessing us with your…” and so it went until my father-in-law interrupted and finished. I thought it was hilarious and still kind of do. It was disrespectful and I will not do that in someone else’s home again.

I have been told by friends and even family that it was needed. This is what our cause needs to shame people from believing. I find it distasteful. But what do you think? Do you also follow the “when in Rome” philosophy? 

As for the rapid approaching holiday season. I can’t wait to visit “North Korea” again.


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