Believers Are Faking

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Hear ye, hear ye! God is dead I proclaim. But religion just keeps on going. Dying slowly and inevitably however due to superstitious parents raising superstitious children it’s still alive.

How do we know that this seemingly cancerous ideology is dying? Simple, a majority of “believers” don’t actually believe. They say that they do. They vote how they think a believer should vote. They wear crosses and go to church. They ACT like they’ve been taught a believer should act.

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They do not behave like a true believer. Have you ever witnessed someone facing immediate pain or death? The look on their face or the movement in their actions. The fear is contagious. It leaps from them to you. Adrenaline pumps and flight or fight kicks in.

I once was burning leaves and maintaining my yard while my kids played around me. At a safe distance of course. The ground was moist that day and I had a hard time keeping the fire going. I stupidly decided to douse the flames with gasoline. Suddenly the nozzle of the gas can was ablaze. I instantly and  simultaneously thought of my children and an exploding fire ball. I ran as fast as could with the gas can across my yard away from my children. I was going to protect them. I did protect them and luckily I put the fire on the out by wrapping it with my shirt.

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I truly believed that my kids were in harms way and I decided to protect them at my own cost. The thought of them recovering from burns or being in any pain at all was unbearable. So how is it that “believers” can “feel” sad for me? If I truly am facing impending doom, torture and hell for eternity. How can parents sit back and allow their offspring to suffer? Preaching and praying seem so passive to the alternative. The absolute impediment of darkness. All that is evil will consume you. Yet let’s throw some scripture at them and allow them to make their own decisions.

No, not me. When my children faced doom I acted. I protected them. I didn’t give them a choice to be burnt or not to be burnt.

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What Do Non-Beliebers Call Themselves?

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Everyone knows who or what a Belieber is. But what if I don’t Beliebe? Am I a non-Belieber? Or an aBelieber? Or are we just unlabeled?

Humanist seems like a fitting title.

I am Confident that a title is necessary. It gives us people that don’t like Bieber something to be Believe in. However, me becoming a Belieber may actually happen one day. I Would be surprised but I’m going to Never Say Never. But if does happen As Long As You Love Me I don’t care what you call me!

My Atheist April Fools Facebook Post

What’s an atheist to do on April 1st? Make a “I’ve been saved” joke obviously! And as expected mine did not go over well with friends and family. 

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I merely posted that I had been saved. Nothing too elaborate.  I spent a total of one minute preparing the Facebook post before hopping into my morning shower. By the time I got out a few comments had came through.

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There were several more comments but I decided to beat them at their own game. I pulled out the good ol’ Christian rebuke card! I quoted Jesus.

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Game over. There was no other commenters after that.  Fun fun.

Next year I may plan something more theatrical. Maybe I’ll talk in tongues or find Jesus on my toast. Comment with ideas.

Ken Ham: The Unbiblical ‘Noah’ Is a Fable of a Film

Good ol Ken Ham

TIME

As a Creationist and also a believer in the historical account of Noah and the Flood, I agree with atheist Darren Aronofsky’s statement about his just-released film “Noah”: It is the “least biblical” of Bible-themed films. Any other agreement I have with the filmmaker’s take on the book of Genesis and its account of Noah ends right there. Further, I told a group of pastors earlier today that because I found “Noah” to be a boring 2½ hour movie, it may be the worst film I’ve ever seen.

Except for some of the names in the movie, like Noah, his sons’ names, and Methuselah, hardly any remnant of the Bible’s account of the Flood in Genesis 6-9 is recognizable. Yes, there is an Ark in the film that is true to the massive biblical proportions, but it did not look like a seaworthy vessel. There were many animals that came…

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I Smell Bullshit

How come every time I get in a Thor damned discussion with a person of (say this in a deep voice) faith they say “I used to be an atheist” like this strengthens their argument. No, no you weren’t. You were about as atheist as a drug addict addicted to pot. You’re lying to me just like you lie to yourself.

I can, maybe, possibly, understand… maybe, a person trying out “atheism” and by that I mean “sinning” and the entire time they are terrified of hell and damnation so they turn back to the Lord All Mighty Mind Giant. Then they boast “I was atheist once! I banged biatches and ate babies and snorted coke off of a dirty toilet seat and played swords with a guy I met at a train station’s bathroom stall. I was insane dude! Totally atheist. Totally. But now I have Jesus and don’t do those things anymore.” 

Hallelujah! Somebody give this guy a pat on the back (but be careful the devil is always trying to get him to revert back to atheism and he may go from six to noon if you know what I mean).

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The only reason I would ever say I believe in a god is for money. I know, I know, I have no morals. I really don’t. But lets be honest, I am only saying what you’ve thought about. 

 

*I am sorry for the terrible grammar and punctuation in this rant. I’m not completely sober but then again that is not a good excuse. 

Boys and Girls are just the same

My wife’s awesome blog.

Running on E

My son is a very sweet, sensitive, generous kid. He likes pink and glitter. Unicorns and kittens. Pixie dust and butterfly wings. He loves the show My Little Pony. He also loves superheros and Minecraft. And insane YouTube videos. He loves swords and light sabers. And definitely Lego’s.

So I get really, really mad when people have the nerve to ask me, “are you worried he’ll be gay when he grows up?”

First and foremost. I would never be “worried” that he’s gay. If he is, that’s who he is. And that wouldn’t change any way I feel about him. And if it does for you, well, that makes you an asshole.

Aido is surrounded by strong willed, strong minded women. Why wouldn’t he appreciate the things that we favor? He’s surrounded by ponies and butterflies and all things pink. And pink is a beautiful color. And he recognizes that…

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Satanjesus

I think religious stuff is funny. I’m sorry if you’re not someone that does and you stumble upon my blog. There is a good probability that you’ll be offended. With that being said I’d like to introduce my wordpress audience to…

Satanjesus

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I picture him being a squirrely character with a loose lisp and an admiration for the female sex. 

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He inevitably creeps them out. I mean come on just one glance at his black teeth and curled horns would have even the most desperate woman evacuating the scene.

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But he never gives up. He stumbles into bars and sits down just in time to be kicked out for staring about with his googlely eyes. Every woman he passes he throws out terrible terrible terrible one liners.

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Every night he returns home empty handed. He’s driven by his genetics to reproduce and not smart enough to understand that he never will.

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The world doesn’t care about Satanjesus. They focus too much on his twin.