What Do Non-Beliebers Call Themselves?

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Everyone knows who or what a Belieber is. But what if I don’t Beliebe? Am I a non-Belieber? Or an aBelieber? Or are we just unlabeled?

Humanist seems like a fitting title.

I am Confident that a title is necessary. It gives us people that don’t like Bieber something to be Believe in. However, me becoming a Belieber may actually happen one day. I Would be surprised but I’m going to Never Say Never. But if does happen As Long As You Love Me I don’t care what you call me!

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Satanjesus

I think religious stuff is funny. I’m sorry if you’re not someone that does and you stumble upon my blog. There is a good probability that you’ll be offended. With that being said I’d like to introduce my wordpress audience to…

Satanjesus

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I picture him being a squirrely character with a loose lisp and an admiration for the female sex. 

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He inevitably creeps them out. I mean come on just one glance at his black teeth and curled horns would have even the most desperate woman evacuating the scene.

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But he never gives up. He stumbles into bars and sits down just in time to be kicked out for staring about with his googlely eyes. Every woman he passes he throws out terrible terrible terrible one liners.

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Every night he returns home empty handed. He’s driven by his genetics to reproduce and not smart enough to understand that he never will.

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The world doesn’t care about Satanjesus. They focus too much on his twin.

WHY Does God Hate Me!?!

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Above is evidence that God hates me. As you can see there was not a single matching pair. Oh the malevolence!  Oh the disdain!

So alas, my 6 year old was forced to wear regular white socks to school today. Ultimately affecting his social perception and furthering him towards the title of… nerd. Damn you original sin!

*To any religious folks that may stumble upon this post (and will because I tagged your section of the internet). This is satire. I do not believe in God therefore I know it cannot hate me. I can only hope that you find some humor in this post even if it’s the chuckle to yourself over my blatant ignorance of God and my imminent residency in Hell. Have a great day and Thor bless!