I Smell Bullshit

How come every time I get in a Thor damned discussion with a person of (say this in a deep voice) faith they say “I used to be an atheist” like this strengthens their argument. No, no you weren’t. You were about as atheist as a drug addict addicted to pot. You’re lying to me just like you lie to yourself.

I can, maybe, possibly, understand… maybe, a person trying out “atheism” and by that I mean “sinning” and the entire time they are terrified of hell and damnation so they turn back to the Lord All Mighty Mind Giant. Then they boast “I was atheist once! I banged biatches and ate babies and snorted coke off of a dirty toilet seat and played swords with a guy I met at a train station’s bathroom stall. I was insane dude! Totally atheist. Totally. But now I have Jesus and don’t do those things anymore.” 

Hallelujah! Somebody give this guy a pat on the back (but be careful the devil is always trying to get him to revert back to atheism and he may go from six to noon if you know what I mean).

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The only reason I would ever say I believe in a god is for money. I know, I know, I have no morals. I really don’t. But lets be honest, I am only saying what you’ve thought about. 

 

*I am sorry for the terrible grammar and punctuation in this rant. I’m not completely sober but then again that is not a good excuse. 

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